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Index › Society & Communities › Humor & Fun
 

Hail the Sultan of Submissions, Lance Winslow!

 

The prolific King of the Keyboard has been writing articles for publication in Ezine @rticles for a relatively short 18 months. Lets see, thats 18 times approximately 30 days in a month ... um ... carry the 3 ... um ... about 540 days. And what has the Lance Meister done in that period of time. Oh, hes just submittedand this is tricky because as Im writing the count could go up by thirty or so6200 articles. Thats all Im talking about6200 articles! Back to the math: 6200 divided by 540 ... um ... drop the 0 ... bring down the 8 ... looks like a whopping 11.5 articles a day, every day, for a year and a half.

I tip my mouse to the Grand Pooh-Bah of Punditry! How does he do it?

Im approaching fifty articles and thinking Im doing pretty darned good. Then I notice his count has gone up seventy-one in the amount of time it took me to click submit article. When I pull up the Wizard of Words list to see what he has been up to, a slight brown-out occurs in my neighborhood (so I dont do it often, just when I need to feel weak and unworthy which I pretty much feel most of the time).

Hes unbelievable. He knows how to wash just about everything on the planet and has an article full of instructions for each. Cars, trucks, boats, airplanes, fleets of airplanes, even power washing Afghanistan! With robotics yet! Hes the mean of clean.

Another deal is abatements! Hes big on the abatements already! The only thing he cant seem to abate are his articles. And dont get him started on government, religion or royalty! Oh baby! Hes something. What a rascal!

But the most noble thing Sir Lance Write-a-lot has shared with us is his secret to writing articles faster than a speeding bullet. First and foremost is to think production. Holy mackerels, thats brilliant. And when Lance thinks production, he thinks titles. Forget content! Just titles, like two hundred titles for starters. The man is God! Then he has this whole process for gettin busy! Its quite a little cottage industry Mr. Winslow has brewin there.

Unfortunately, as noble as he is, and I say this with no disrespect, the man is a real cacasodo; with little closers like, Ive written 6150 articles so far. How many have you written? I guess he has a right to be arrogant considering the next closest person has a mere 1595 articles, almost contemptible quite frankly, certainly not good enough for mentioning names.

Oh well, I better start my list of titles. But to be honest, itll take me the better part of a year to think of 200 things to write about. Meanwhile, The Man has already posted 22 articles in the time it took me to write this. And wait until he reads it.

All I have to say is Im a dead man writing.

Author: Robert Crane
 
Author Bio:
Robert Crane is a eminent columnist. Robert likes to write articles about this subject.
 
 
 

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